"Every Child born into the world is a new though of god, an ever fresh and radiant possibility" Kate Huggins.
After having heard enough from the self martyred mom's out there, who say " A women becomes a better person only after being a mother". I had to stop and ask myself my true honest views on these bundles of joy !
Sure, kids are great, they are cute and can bring a lot of joy but the the way i see it, it does not guarantee happiness ! Most couples have children because of the expectations to have one or simply because of poorly informed choice.
Not being parents still, I cant comment on the joys of parenthood but a pure honest analysis of raising kids makes me question the reasons for raising them.
Not trying to be a Child-free advocate, Let me just quickly tell you a few reasons why a child can change your life, and not always for the best.
1. The Child birth and its free add In's :
The birth, the weight, the periods of complete chaos and confusion.
Think mood swings,depression, stretchmarks and pushing a grapefruit from your Vajayjay !
Lets face it everyone out there is no Angelina Jolie, If looking good before a baby took efforts, after it looking good or the same will be a distant memory !
2. You are never your own priority because the child takes center stage FOREVER
Endless sleepless nights with incessant wails ! And later on
No more late night drives with loud music, lest the child gets terrified!
So basically it means their upbringing, their education,their joy and their life !
3.Where did my hobbies go?
There is never free time with a child around, its always the child's project,party,studies or something.
Setting an example can mean quiet often giving up being young and fun!
4. From "Me and my honey-bun, it becomes Mummy and Daddy"
The relationship would go for a toss as all your energy would be channeled to bringing up the child and doing whats best for the child.
Don't be surprised if you catch yourself say, "Ask daddy to go do......"
5. Money Money Money !
A drain to all my hard earned money. According some latest statistics kids are an expense that eat into a quarter of a million dollars by the time they turn 18, without counting college fees !
6. Worry Worry Worry!
Its either the health,discipline,studies or dealing with the rebellion, but you will surely have something to worry about always !!!
7. A full time job:
Think of having two full time job every single day ! Nearly impossible so one of it will take a back seat and it definitively wont be 'being a MOM' !
8. Your House and car never the way you want it !
It would have to be family friendly SUV'S and a house that has enough room to keep all the toys and other junk !
9. Your life depends on your Baby Sitter !
Half the real good restaurants etc are not baby friendly, so be ready to be totally dependent on a sitter for just a few hours of peace.But even then you will be worrying if the baby sitter is doing what she is paid for or on the phone with a boyfriend.
10. Help in over populate this already over populated world ??
The biggest argument to have children is that they are the biggest comforts in your old age, fact is they help you reach it sooner than you thought you would !
After having heard enough from the self martyred mom's out there, who say " A women becomes a better person only after being a mother". I had to stop and ask myself my true honest views on these bundles of joy !
Sure, kids are great, they are cute and can bring a lot of joy but the the way i see it, it does not guarantee happiness ! Most couples have children because of the expectations to have one or simply because of poorly informed choice.
Not being parents still, I cant comment on the joys of parenthood but a pure honest analysis of raising kids makes me question the reasons for raising them.
Not trying to be a Child-free advocate, Let me just quickly tell you a few reasons why a child can change your life, and not always for the best.
1. The Child birth and its free add In's :
The birth, the weight, the periods of complete chaos and confusion.
Think mood swings,depression, stretchmarks and pushing a grapefruit from your Vajayjay !
Lets face it everyone out there is no Angelina Jolie, If looking good before a baby took efforts, after it looking good or the same will be a distant memory !
2. You are never your own priority because the child takes center stage FOREVER
Endless sleepless nights with incessant wails ! And later on
No more late night drives with loud music, lest the child gets terrified!
So basically it means their upbringing, their education,their joy and their life !
3.Where did my hobbies go?
There is never free time with a child around, its always the child's project,party,studies or something.
Setting an example can mean quiet often giving up being young and fun!
4. From "Me and my honey-bun, it becomes Mummy and Daddy"
The relationship would go for a toss as all your energy would be channeled to bringing up the child and doing whats best for the child.
Don't be surprised if you catch yourself say, "Ask daddy to go do......"
5. Money Money Money !
A drain to all my hard earned money. According some latest statistics kids are an expense that eat into a quarter of a million dollars by the time they turn 18, without counting college fees !
6. Worry Worry Worry!
Its either the health,discipline,studies or dealing with the rebellion, but you will surely have something to worry about always !!!
7. A full time job:
Think of having two full time job every single day ! Nearly impossible so one of it will take a back seat and it definitively wont be 'being a MOM' !
8. Your House and car never the way you want it !
It would have to be family friendly SUV'S and a house that has enough room to keep all the toys and other junk !
9. Your life depends on your Baby Sitter !
Half the real good restaurants etc are not baby friendly, so be ready to be totally dependent on a sitter for just a few hours of peace.But even then you will be worrying if the baby sitter is doing what she is paid for or on the phone with a boyfriend.
10. Help in over populate this already over populated world ??
The biggest argument to have children is that they are the biggest comforts in your old age, fact is they help you reach it sooner than you thought you would !
Well...honestly I am not surprised with the post! Somethings mentioned here are true especially facts about the Money, ask any woman who is a MOM by her own choice and she would never once say that she regrets the decision...! But ask a woman who is mother by chance or by mistake...then all the above mentioned reasoning comes into play! That's the difference. So I think what is important here is to KNOW as a woman whether you are ready to take the responsibilities and put in the hard work! Go for it only when you are sure you know what you want! :)
ReplyDeleteWow ... I love it! You summed it for me, when the other day after a lot thinking you said "Other than Adi, hmmmm hmmmm hmmmm there was one kid i really liked".
ReplyDeleteWe always hear things from friends about how couple life ends after having a kid, but you always think "ahh it would be ok, we will manage it", now that you have penned it down and I am reading it, its scary and requires deep thoughts. I am sure it will take a lot of effort from both partners to keep the spark alive.
I am sure you have surprized many people from the way you are living and conducting this new phaze of your life and I believe when you pop one out, you will be a great mom and surprize all again. Moreover it always helps to have a loving and supportive partner :P, I beleive you do have one :D
I second Rashmi for "Go for it only when you are sure you know what you want", but there is only one problem, give it time and even strangers pounce on you with "Tho kya chal raha hai, Koi GOOD NEWS ?", "Koi problem hai kya ?" OMG, Leave me alone.
Interesting "Pop one out", nitin? Am I an oven?? :D
ReplyDeleteYea well a supportive partner is a must and I feel in that I shouldn't have much to worry. And I guess an open mind solves much issues ;)
Also, when the 'Kya chal raha hai' starts, say 'mast chal raha hai' !
and for, 'Koi Problem hai', say, 'tu ake help karna' :D
and 'any god news' ? say, 'plenty i am still alive and kicking' :)
Btw Thanx for the vote of confidence !
or just simply put we dont want one!
LOL!! You husband and wife are a crazy couple! but its great that you both support and believe in each other so much! thats whats really important! Good Luck guys! :)
ReplyDelete