The road ahead

No one lives in isolation, who we are is defined by the people we let into our lives and the experiences we have. Often these experiences and people leave a mark on us so deep that it changes us so subtly. We don't realize it, but it has a way of creeping on to us when we least expect it.

I always thought that if I was wronged, I need to be convinced to forgive the other person. To address the damage,to sooth my ego until I was satisfied. And if that does not happen,then what?  Not all wrongs in life can be made right through confrontation. Not always do you get a chance to make things right. You would pretend to be a good person and be magnanimous and 'forgive' someone! Feel good and make the world a better place, without actually helping you.

It worked for me a while, but the negative feelings come back as they always do. And the more I ignore it,the more my anger manifest in my life. I needed to make peace with myself. All I knew was the pain, the anger,  the irritation and sensitivity to any comments ranging from my appearance to my life and the choices in my life. It was almost like any remark was considered a jab. With that outlook life never moves ahead it only stays stuck in the past with selected memories that block out anything good.

I tried to forgive but never forgot. Just never had enough strength to forget. So I changed tracks instead of finding ways to even out, I began to look within me. Began to value myself, respect and love myself more. With just a little bit of caring to myself, I was able to see how hard I was to me. And slowly but steadily the pain began to fade, I could laugh at the most embarrassing moments, or smile at things that made me cry earlier.

The process of forgiving and forgetting starts with when you HELP yourself. It took a while but I learnt to HELP me...  to Heal, to Evolve, to Love and to find Peace. 

The peace came with me valuing myself,my dignity,my values more. Sounds very simple but loving yourself is very hard.

Dont take away my childhood

The French take fashion seriously and age seems not to be a barrier. Browsing through the net an article in CNN caught my eyes about the French fashion house Jaures Après Lines, and their new collection "Loungerie".  

The concept behind this new collection is to create a brand dedicated to "loungerie" just for children (Lounge wear and Lingerie together), which can be worn inside or outside.  The designs are similar to lingerie which to me is beautiful but only on an adult. Without sounding orthodox, hardly any clothes seemed appropriate for children.

What is hotly debated and discusses is that more than the lingerie itself it is the styling and marketing of the product that has come into being so disturbing. The 14 year olds are seen with matching panty and bra, teased hair, lipstick, pearls and a come hither look!

Source: Coco Perez and Tres sugar

Coco Channel said “Fashion is not something that exists in dresses alone. Fashion is in the sky, in the street, fashion has to do with ideas, the way we live” but I doubt if this interpretation of fashion by the French is even noteworthy!

For the Missing Daughters

I am from Kerala and one of the things that I am proud of being from this southern most state of India is the Gender ratio it boasts of. Not the coconuts, the back water, or even the literacy rate but the gender ratio. I read today that the gender ratio has dipped to an all time low of 914 to 1000 (women to men) and some of the northern states having a much lesser ratio sometimes dipping to lower than 900.

Decades earlier when the number of children per family was in the range of 4 to 10, there   was a natural balance between male and female children and people did not have to selectively chose a 'sex'. Then with time and advent of the nuclear family system having less number of children, the sex of the child gained paramount importance. And the divinity of women is not extended further than the Idols we worship.

Traditionally in India male children have been preferred. The biggest blame has been borne by the dowry system and the cost of a wedding. One might think that with females working hard and often contributing for their dowry educated parents of today should be less worried. Sadly this not the case, It is not only about the money or education. You will find that some of the richest regions in India show low gender ratio. This is because in our culture male children are seen as the scions of the family and female children have been given the position of a 'temporary visitor'. A son takes a ‘family name’ ahead and is a beacon of hope for the future, for old age and for heaven, while a daughter remains the un/welcome guest.

Thus when all the planning is geared towards old age the obsession for a 'male heir' than a 'female child' becomes the obvious. Top it with the pressures of marriage and dowry, is it a wonder people practice such hideous crimes? Legal amendments alone are not going to tackle this problem which is so deeply edged into our culture. Unfortunately a solution seems as grave as the problem itself.

On the legal aspects I would welcome laws where the wedding expenses are given a fixed ceiling and also made mandatory for both parties to share the cost. It is a sensible thing to do, as no set of parents are made to spend too much and there would be more inheritance for female making them socially independent too. 

A change for this can come with some radical change in the Indian Family system where the son lives with parents and daughter's with the In Laws. Taking care of one's parents is a responsibility irrespective of sex.

Dear Father,

What is in a name?

You attached my name to yours at birth, I lived as your daughter, married still remained your daughter, became a mother still remained your daughter, my child is your grandchild even if I call him with a different name"

As long as we support such patriarchal society a solution for the gendercide is a distant call.

I write this post today so that some day if I have a daughter, she will know for sure that there was no disappointment for me that SHE came to me and not a HE.

 I love this video, but it saddens me that at this age too we need this.

Brown Girl in the ring tra la lala...

I tried to avoid the sun whatever, the season

and treat my skin to honey and milk 

because my grandma told me then I would be fair

because my aunt told me it would glow and I would be a beauty !

So did it make me more beautiful ? 

 I have the same eyes,nose,lips and face

Not any fairer and not any darker

And now television tells me It will make me successful....

Enter Fair and Lovely adverts in India, and you would be forced to believe that finding success and love in life is directly proportional to your skin tone. That may be the reason they provide you with a skin shade card to measure ! 

It sickens me that all over the world people are still running after the perfect skin color ! Its a shame when you don't respect what you have that defines you. To tell someone that you can not live your dream until you are fair is a huge crime, Thousands of gullible youngsters suffer the consequence of an irresponsible media (supported by society).  Why blame just the advert? In the past, we have silently accepted that lighter toned Asian women are more beautiful than their dark skinned sister's. We even let bollywood tell us that. A blatant example is how in movies the heroes and heroines are all mostly ultra fair while the villagers,poor folks,villains and the spurned lovers are mostly dark complexioned. Not quite the co incidence!  From there to now these adverts, I am glad people have begun reacting.

I am not a person who opposes any kind of beautification, contrary I love anything that betters my skin, the texture not the tone ! No harm taking care of your skin, and I think everyone should but no ways support racism because of color.

Vanity and visual appearance speak volumes about a women and it is for a long time, but a little education would go a long way too. Support us in our campaign here.

The Books that I wish you would Read

I love to read and often try to read books as diverse as possible, but  I have my favorites and among them here is my pick of 10 books I totally enjoyed reading and recommend.

1.  Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
2. Memoirs of Geisha by Arthur Golden
3. Thousand Splendid Sons by Khaled Hosseini
4. Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coehlo
5. Veronica Decides to Die by Paulo Coehlo
6. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
7. Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens
8. A Tale of two cities by Charles Dickens
9. Lolita by Valdimir Nabokov
10. and of course the epic Paradise Lost by John Milton.

It is a pretty varied choice of books, if you have missed any of this check it out and let me what you thought about these books.

What are your favorites, let me know ! 

A Yes means Yes and No Means NO

The first Slut Walk in Asia happened in Delhi; to me it is symbolic of the 'Rape Crisis' that the city is facing. And how are we dealing with the high incidence of sexual assault in the city? I am sure we are doing the best we can within the limits of the popular thought span. If you were wondering what the thought span is, this might help.

Delhi Police Commissioner says, "You can not drive alone in the city after 2 am and then claim the city is unsafe"

That is how the story began, in response to similar outrageous comments, women around the world followed the steps taken by a group of women in Toronto and began a series of Slutwalks, giving rise to Delhi's 'Slut walk aka Besharmi Morcha'.

Sexual Assault of any form is a violation of a person's dignity to life and so it is the legal system's duty to prevent such acts at all times, scenarios and circumstances. The Police commissioner's statement is just a small example of how large amount of people in the Judicial system think. Do those charged with our safety have a true understanding of sexual assault?

The supreme court of India uses the poorly defined term "modesty" to test around the guilt of a person. What modesty is possessed or is not possessed by a child or a teenager? Sexual assault at any level is a crime and we need to look at it as how we look at any other crime. I will agree that a women in shorts invited rape if we begin to look at a robbery in an unarmed store as intentional negligence by the store and not just plain simple Robbery! I am not drawing parallel to a person and a store but if we apply the rationale of thinking by many people then was not the store unarmed, open and inviting with goodies why not loot it? Stop blaming the victim for the crime, being sexually assaulted is not about what you wear and using it to rationalize inexcusable behavior creates an environment in which the blame falls on the victim. Provocation to rape is ridiculous, especially when provocation is not taken into consideration in any other crime.

The Irony is that sexual assault happens at all ages, among family members, in rural and urban India and yet the society and judiciary speak volumes on the "character", "modesty" and "level of provocation".  In 2008, there was a protest "I never asked for it" where victims around India were encouraged to send in the clothes they were wearing when they were raped. Not surprisingly the display showed Jeans, tops and salwars defying all notions of modesty and the slut theory.

Though the Delhi Slut walk has drawn a lot of criticism I support it wholeheartedly and would like to congratulate the organizers. The walk is not an excuse to derange our culture, dress inappropriately but only to voice out that we do not want to take responsibility of other people's lack of culture or insanity. After all every change began with a unified stand against it, in itself it won’t help but is a tiny step towards awareness and reform. We need to stop taking it lightly, eve teasing, molesting, lewd remarks and sexually objectifying are all serious sexual crimes which are undermined. So take the focus of the clothes and onto the crime!

I support the March, because in Delhi women are not walking down the street only to be able to wear whatever they wish but rather to be able to walk down the street. I hope more women and men believe that sexuality has nothing to do with rape. Waiting to see more cities emulate Delhi.

Don’t make me blame myself, my body, and my clothes for your crime.

The Axe Effect - Axed

The Axe effect adverts created a new revolution in the small screen media. It brought home notoriously raunchy adverts and gave a makeover to the sorry state of male deodorants. And thus came in 'The Axe Effect' with their explicit message of a promise to 'get laid'.They were too hard to ignore.

The advertisement campaign by axe has never been shy in their insinuations of sex in it, in fact it boasts of the male species sexual instincts quiet blatantly. And it worked ! For so long it upheld the anthem that sex sells anything. It was too hard to ignore, so everyone wanted to duplicate their success.This brought about an avalanche of sexual based adverts for everything. Drinking your juices, chewing gum even 'paan parag' had to be sexy! But with the coming of more 'desi' and raunchy adverts by wild stone etc, it became too obscene and much too much. The ASCI (Advertising Council of India) decided to step in and regulate these ads, and we now have a ban on all racy deodorant ads. The companies affected are Wildstone, Denver Ads, Set Wet Zatak, Axe.

So what went wrong ? 

                                    Mild slapstick humor VERSUS 

Outright Sexual Innuendos 

These companies decided to copy the format of Axe but felt the need to Indianize it more, so that the masses would be able to relate to it better. In a country where culture and modesty is so valued, these companies began flooding the cable with adverts depicting an elder sister in law removing her 'mangalsutra' (which depicts matrimony) and lusting after her younger brother in law or of a female aroused during "Durga Pooja" ! 

Take a look

I cant help but think if these companies ever did any market study or culture analysis? 

There was a considerable public outrage for the above advert especially because it mingled religion and sex together. It defiantly asked for a lit cannon ball.

I always found these adverts tasteless, but it has been my personal opinion. I am open to the media using something as  natural as sex to promote their product but it should be done in an aesthetic manner and not in the misleading and often demeaning manner. Sexualising a condom advert seem fine to me, but a deo or inner wear seems funny almost and not necessary. 

So do I support the ban, No ! 

I think banning these adverts is a step back. Lets not kid ourselves, our public is not naive or new to sex and related issues. Banning just one random advert does nothing. We cant be Nazis to the media. I understand a balance needs to be maintained, but the youth of today understand sex and its appeal way before you wish they did ! Stuffing it under a blanket never helps, its better to let the market decide. If it really is very offensive to the public surveys etc will show it and no company in their right sense would want to advertise badly. 

What upsets me more is the Information Ministry quote " The Ads brim with messages aimed at tickling libidinous males instinct" and " showing women hankering huskily under the influence of these deodorants".

Again, we are portraying the age old message of decency,chastity and modesty. The definition of modesty by the supreme court is defined by what is perceived by a  "reasonable man" or ""Womanly propriety of behavior; scrupulous chastity of thought, speech and conduct" and "decorous in manner and conduct; not forward or lewd".

Quiet Outrageous, What we need more than randomly banning the media is a more comprehensive understanding of "modesty" and male libidinous instincts" (the latter being very excusable!)

The curious case of Social Media Remorse !

Have you in the recent past noticed a change in your demeanor? Sweaty hands, a strange pit in the stomach, unable to concentrate on anything and a need to REFRESH and hit DELETE ?

The above symptoms are best described as a classic case of "Social Media Remorse". Welcome to the world of  New age Social Networking.

Social networking sites sure made our lives a lot easier, opened new channels for us, both personally and professionally. We get to reach out to old friends and make new ones too. Everything is great until you mess up with a single post,video or 'tag' that kills the vibes between you and someone else. That is when all these symptoms comes into play. Because friends you make with just one 'click' are usually the first to go anyways.

What got me prompted to write this was when I was caught up with the remorse of posting something (which was not exactly what I meant) and had sweaty hands with diarrhea almost, and wishing real hard I could press delete before the damage was done. But, I guess in my case it was already done. I just had to live with it, another bleeding ulcer!

So, I now am very careful of what I post, I think through it, 'would this offend someone?' 'would it imply something I don't mean' etc, and unfortunately I sometimes take it to the next level and check if it makes me look good. Because after all the number of likes and comments on your post and photos is important in the world of networking :)

So this begs the question, are we really who we show we are, or are we showing someone we wish to be? 

I surely am not against networking of any sorts, in fact I swear by Facebook, but after many instances where a post looked incredibly funny at the time and incredibly stupid in retrospect. I think a little bit of self imposed abstinence is a good thing. 

Ever regretted Posting something about yourself?

Source : http://www.appscout.com/2010/05/regrets_only_study_charts_soci.php

I have dug my own grave in more than one instance,and statistics show that I am not alone ! don't fall prey to it. Its best to keep it simple and not use it to for (WWF )Wage wars, Whine or Flaunt.

1. Wage War : It is was never wise to wash dirty linen in public, so dont use your facebook to clear the air with a friend or colleague. It is bound to get dirty. A smarter thing would be to go offline and sort it out.

2. Whine : Have a problem with work, or your sorry love story ! try not making negativity your brand . People will begin to see you that way while you wonder why ! 


3. Flaunt:  When you are flaunting something, "a little goes a long way".Read Do not over do it. It is not cool!

Online networking is still in its adolescence and all of us will have to go through (my favorite word) growing pains with it. But, the good news is that there are no rules ! So while being as creative as we want try not letting remorse creep in by being aware of who you are in the social sense of networking !

Middle of somewhere !

When you wake up one morning and find that you are not sure where exactly you are can be quite an experience but what could be more daunting is when you realize that you are middle of somewhere and not sure where you are heading !

At this stage that is how I often feel, a need to carve out my own niche but with the trouble of not belonging anywhere (that is available to me). Finding the perfect fit has always been difficult be it a shoe,a dress or stage in your life. 

At 25 and married, I have achieved one great milestone in life, which would be finding the one person to go home to. Believe it or not, not having one can make your entire life meaningless. Now that I have found the person to go home to, I find it difficult to understand where to go from here.

Why do I say that I am in the middle of nowhere, let see ..

1. Am I size M, L Or should I find other store ? 

I don't have a size I belong to, every piece of clothing needs to be tried and tested. My wardrobe is filled with clothes ranging from 8 to 14. Where do I belong ? Okay, jokes apart let me really think....

2. Conversations with Friends:

Why does previously hilariously and flirtatious tales seem so non interesting ! Talks about boys,sex and flirting does not excite me as it used to. And lets face it whats more important to a single girl than the cute boy next door. But, when the conversations revolve so much around this and mainly this, the selfish person in me feels the need to stop and talk about something well more important to me! Hours of telephonic conversations are replaced with awkward pauses and lame 'so what else'. I often feel the need to shake some of them and say, come on grow up! Girl friends are a vital part of my life, people who I used to laugh and play with seem suddenly immature,mean,insincere. 

3."The other married people"

Then I go ahead and socialize with a few married couples I know, the talk is always surrounding good housekeeping, juggling jobs with home and inadvertently children.I listen on feeling like I came from another planet.Most often have nothing to contribute and drift of to my own reverie until some one ask me question( the answer to which I would have no way of knowing ).  Having to go to a kids fourth birthday party makes me cringe and feel stupid. I don't belong here, or maybe I don't want to, as I cling on to all the things that make a little girl.

4. When I becomes a WE

Its not always about what you want, you seem to have to think about the we aspect of your life for sometimes mundane things too. Do I feel like going out today ? No, and then you automatically think but maybe he would want to. So you go, feeling I should be home tucked in my bed, and if you don't go, you sit in your bed thinking I should have gone and feeling guilty as hell. What happened to the time when 'sorry mate I cant make it', ends there.

 I look around and see that it is not only my job that I would have to start from the bottom but also many other nuances in my life.  I feel like I am constantly judged by all, that boundaries are being drawn by others or me and I feel the need to portray a predetermined image. I swing between immense sense of security and insecurity. I laugh and cry with the greatest force in my life. I experience joys like never before mingled with doubts that I have never had to face before.All this often leaves me confused and lonely.It scares you and wish like hell that familiar things are restored with only the welcome addition of your loved better half.

 Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. 

Growing up is not just crossing over from the teens to twenties, what I fail to realize that it is a never ending process, a constant phase of life. Call it the "growing pains" or the "quarter life crisis" know that you are not alone, everyone goes through it in their own unique way. 

To my Love ...How Do I Love Thee

To my dear love ... How Do I Love Thee?

 How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. 

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height 

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight 

For the ends of Being and ideal Grace. 

I love thee to the level of every day's 

Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight. 

I love thee freely, as men strive for Right; 

I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise. 

I love with a passion put to use 

In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith. 

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose 

With my lost saints, -- I love thee with the breath, 

Smiles, tears, of all my life! -- and, if God choose, 

I shall but love thee better after death. 

By, Elizabeth Barrow

Sally Knows Nails

Who among us does not love a manicure! But time and money can keep us away from the nail spa.Being away from the spa need not mean not having awesome nails. Thank god someone out there knows that nails can be our best accessory. Sally Hansen has now a complete home mani kit with minx and salon effects! With this you could have a new nail style everyday ! 

I am obsessed with their Salon Effects nail kit, it is easy and gorgeous and last almost forever ! At 10 dollars for two applications it is worth every penny ! They only take about 10 minutes to apply, and is really easy. The kit comes with every thing you need to apply the strips.

All you need to do, is clean your nails and buff them, then peel of these stripes and stick them on to your nails, you could snap of the rest with a scissor and then buff your nails to the shape you like. 

I tried the golden shimmer one and it lasted 10 days and I loved my nails !

Ready for fashion forward nails in minutes. Try it out !

A picture is worth a thousand words !

So, I have been busy with many things ! But, without fail my mornings start with fishing through groupon for the next best deal in town. And that is how I came across my latest project, which kept me busy for weeks.It was meant to be a surprise for my husband, but sheer happening at the outcome made me share it before I could possibly cross the end line.

I came across a deal for a photo book website called blurp.com. Being interested photgraphy I decided to check the site out. And thank god I did. I simply could not pass the idea of creating a book, with my own designs.colors and story ! A new thing for me to try out, and the more I checked the website the more I wanted to get started. Now that I am finished with my project using as much as creativity I could muster here it is ( am quite proud to show it off).

Before I share it with you all, let me tell you a bit about what it is.

A photo book is the next evolution of the photo album genre, using our digital photos. With a software, you can immortalize the moments behind every favorite photo to make your own story. It can be used to celebrate a wedding, a baby, a vacation or simply any personal memory that you would want to preserve.All of this can be done to suit your ideals and would be completely your brainchild. There are many options out there to make your own photo book, the best being mypublisher.com, shutterfly.com and blurp.com

I used blurp.com and thanks to my groupon I got to order a beautiful book made out for less !

"If a picture can speak a thousand words, then a photo book is pretty much a poem or a story"

Ten Reasons Why I Love You | Make Your Own Book

Chck it out and let me know what you think !

It is really simple, beautiful and inexpensive, cant wait to create more stories !

Angels from paradise or Home wreckers ?

"Every Child born into the world is a new though of god, an ever fresh and radiant possibility" Kate Huggins.

After having heard enough from the self martyred mom's out there, who say " A women becomes a better person only after being a mother". I had to stop and ask myself my true honest views on these bundles of joy !

Sure, kids are great, they are cute and can bring a lot of joy but the the way i see it, it does not guarantee happiness ! Most couples have children because of the expectations to have one or simply because of poorly informed choice.
Not being parents still, I cant comment on the joys of parenthood but a pure honest analysis of raising kids makes me question the reasons for raising them.

Not trying to be a Child-free advocate, Let me just quickly tell you a few reasons why a child can change your life, and not always for the best.

1. The Child birth and its free add In's :
The birth, the weight, the periods of complete chaos and confusion.
Think mood swings,depression, stretchmarks and pushing a grapefruit from your Vajayjay !
Lets face it everyone out there is no Angelina Jolie, If looking good before a baby took efforts, after it looking good or the same will be a distant memory !

2. You are never your own priority because the child takes center stage FOREVER
Endless sleepless nights with incessant wails ! And later on
No more late night drives with loud music, lest the child gets terrified!
So basically it means their upbringing, their education,their joy and their life !

3.Where did my hobbies go?
There is never free time with a child around, its always the child's project,party,studies or something.
Setting an example can mean quiet often giving up being young and fun!

4. From "Me and my honey-bun, it becomes Mummy and Daddy"
The relationship would go for a toss  as all your energy would be channeled to bringing up the child and doing whats best for the child.
Don't be surprised if you catch yourself say, "Ask daddy to go do......"

5. Money Money Money !
 A drain to all my hard earned money. According some latest statistics kids are an expense that eat into a quarter of a million dollars by the time they turn 18, without counting college fees !

6. Worry Worry Worry!
Its either the health,discipline,studies or dealing with the rebellion, but you will surely have something to worry about always !!!

7. A full time job:
Think of having two full time job every single day ! Nearly impossible so one of it will take a back seat and it definitively wont be 'being a MOM' !

8. Your House and car never the way you want it !
It would have to be family friendly SUV'S and a house that has enough room to keep all the toys and other junk !

9. Your life depends on your Baby Sitter !
Half the real good restaurants etc are not baby friendly, so be ready to be totally dependent on a sitter for just a few hours of peace.But even then you will be worrying if the baby sitter is doing what she is paid for or on the phone with a boyfriend.

10. Help in over populate this already over populated world ??

The biggest argument to have children is that they are the biggest comforts in your old age, fact is they help you reach it sooner than you thought you would !

The Spiritual Disconnect

A blogger I follow wrote on a spiritual journey and how it gives her a sens of protection, and after reading that, it begged me to face my own woes of the spiritual disconnect I had been feeling for a while now.I realized that I was feeling estranged from my spirituality when I caught myself in my head mocking a person's idea of prayers and how it calms him. 

I have never been the kind of girl, who religiously sticks to a routine of prayers or rituals.But as strange as it sounds, I always used to feel a connect with God, through my simple prayers ranging any time of the day and mostly through my thoughts and conversations, where I see and feel the presence of someone out there who is watching over me and listening to me.I used to feel that calm, a sense of belonging and protection which many people would confuse as self confidence.

Things change, growing up is never fun. Through the journey life takes you through paths you wish you could have skipped. But you still go along seeking guidance from this "inner guru". At crossroads when all rationality fails you turn to this for help, and go along with a 'Belief' that everything would go well.

At some point of my life, I felt doubt and eventually a sense of betrayal and finally this belief faded away.This lasted more than the heart-brake that caused it.And my trust just kept seeping away,and I never realized it till the day I mentioned before.And it was a bitter sweet experience, at one end I was feeling liberated and on the side I was appalled that a part of me was rotting in some way. 

If my belief had truly gone, why would it hurt me so much to know that? but if my belief was really 'true' why would it even shake? So many questions, uncertainties and fear.So much so that you prefer to stay ignorant of it.I prefer to think to myself that I am doing good this way, I am living my life well and am happy.I will take each day as it comes, and live life the way my values and emotions dictate.And I will be fine, don't really need any spirituality. 

If you believe that ignorance is better than knowing, its wrong!, the worst possible fear is the fear of not knowing. So my knowing and acknowledging that something is amiss here is very important to me. Reading that blog, somehow tells me its okay to fall off because you can always get back.

Because the fact is that I miss my conversations with god.The little prayers, 'the please give me this and i will give you that' and the 'thank you's' or 'why did you do that to me?' later on.

Dear god, why don't you help me here and take the first move, if you do I will never be estranged again I promise !

36 Hours at the Niagara Falls

  

The whole of America is travelling this weekend. Despite rising gas prices a memorial weekend is time for a get away!I did too, my husband and I went to visit the Niagara Falls.It was an 8 hour road trip from Baltimore to Niagara. We finally hit the Holiday Inn at around 2 am.Slept off and awoke next morning ready to see the worlds most spectacular waterfalls of the world.

I began walking through the park walk way, towards the fall, all the while watching the raging river flow as if in a hurry to be somewhere.As I was nearing the falls, I was thinking to myself "what is the big deal, its just a waterfall ! " Until I got to the base and saw the water crashing down in all its might.To me its beyond words to describe, I can only say it was breath taking and somehow refreshing.

At Niagara Falls, the United States is the poor relative and Canada is the king. Nature gave Canada the wide-angle view of the majestic waterfall that straddles the border between the two countries.Yet the story isn't so simple. Casinos, high-rise hotels and light and life is what I saw looking towards the Ontario side. Meanwhile, in Niagara Falls, New York, surprisingly I saw a natural landscape, almost pristine.

The party is in Canada. The real feel of the river, in all its awesome power, is more accessible in the United States. Hop back and forth to get the best of both Niagara's and see for yourself.

I spend 3 days in Niagara and each of it was fun filled. Apart from being totally mesmerized by the falls I got to do a lot of activities which really heightened my joy.Amongst the many things we did, I just cant stop raving about some of these.

On Day 1 we took the 'The Maid of the Mist' boat ride which took us as close as we get to the falls from both the American and the Canadian side.I could only imagine the strength of the falls as he splashes and mist  got me wet from so far.

Day 2, we took walked to the 'Cave of the wind', from here we almost feel we are right below the American falls. Go up the deck and land on the Hurricane deck literally, a minute in this deck and you can begin to feel your toes go numb because of the icy cold water hitting you down.

Later that evening, we went on the whirlpool jet ride that takes us in a whorl and splashy motorboat ride along the more calmer side of the river.This was a fun ride too, but a little too much splash for me!

Every night and all season long in Niagara,the nights are lit up in colors making the view of the falls even more mystical.On Sunday nights you also get to see Fireworks which was amazing even if it was raining and I saw it from under the bridge.

I have never been a fan of video cameras but in this trip of mine I am glad we had it.Because when I am back now in my cozy home at Towsons, able to watch the video, the water falls with the sound of the crash, I can almost feel the mist on my face again.

If you ask me, anyone who gets a chance should surely come visit this place once in a lifetime because no amount of words or images can truly capture the essence of Niagara the way when you see it and feel it.

Dying to go back, but next time with my mom!

How Much for a Ticket to USA

I must call my mother every single day of the week. And then we exchange a detailed account of our entire day adding loads of gossip and melodrama as side dips! Sometimes I force myself to call just so she could sleep well that night!

Our conversation today centered mainly over her Kerala trip. I couldn't wait to call as I was expecting to get a good scoop of gossip about nosy and absolutely bitchy aunties and specifically a pain of a 'sister in law'! (Ugh lets not even go there) Well I did get a couple to keep my gossip bones happy, but what really got me hooked on and zapped me was when my mom told me how my two young cousin sisters kept her awake all night talking about me! Telling her what they love about me.Asking her how I was as a baby, as a child like them. Questions about how naughty I was etc etc.

To me these two little girls are well just cousins I meet in India. Yes I do adore them but wouldn't keep anyone awake talking about them all night.We meet during vacations, do kid stuffs together and basically have fun. Now my vacations back then were mainly to visit my grand mom in a tiny village obscure from all development.And   these girls were a welcome entertainment package for me.

 From my moms account of their conversation, these little ones are awed by me! and as boastful as this sounds, they want to be just like me (in their own words).

Children as young as they are the best judge of everything, they don't want to please anyone, they don't know ego,jealousy,greed and all those vices yet.So their opinion should actually count the most because its pure and unadulterated.

I dint know what it is I did to make them like me so much. I don't remember doing anything special for either of them. Nothing that pushed me out of my comfort area.Never missed an afternoon siesta to play with them either.Nothing more than candy bars and Barbie dolls. The hugs and kisses which I love anyways!And those occasional long distance calls filled with promises for more dolls and candies, that do not last more than 5 minutes. Yet, today I hear my cousins Aishwarya and Meghna tell my mom." How could we wait till December to just see her?" 

Meghna says: "I have only Rupees Six Thousand, how much is it for a ticket to USA"

Mom Says: Around One Lakh Rupees

Meghna aghast and dejected says: When would I be able to save enough to see her then?

I know they will soon realize they don't want to be like me nor wont want to play with me because I am not cool enough. And will someday think of me as their aunt and not sister ! But for now for me it means a lot.Without giving anything back they seem to be wanting to give me so much ! In some small way it has made me a better person. Maybe taught me to give without thinking what I would get in return.

I don't really know why but I suddenly feel I cant wait till December either !

This is the two of them. Don't be fooled by these angelic faces, they truly can be devilish!

The Winner Stands Alone

 " You look down from the mountain you have just climbed, holding tight the prize you just won, but the sky seems to be just as far now as it was when you set to conquer it.Yet, somethings changed something is different.Where are all the bonds you saw as chains from earth that used to tie me down.
From this mountain you stand and look you have neither the sky nor the earth you once had, The Winner stands Alone".

Dreams and Desires keep making you surge ahead in life.Your entire focus is laid out as plans and goals.Everything becomes a step to getting that big thing in life.And in the process we leave out the very essence of living like emotions. It is the possibility of making dreams come true that makes life interesting but when we try to bound ourselves with the dreams that are tailor made for all,life becomes a suffering.

Ever wondered why you were much happier as a child? Children can teach you more than how much you can teach them. They teach you to be happy and smile at simple things in life, they teach you to find something interesting to do always and they teach you to desire and demand what you desire with no ego at all.

Just as important it is to dream it is important to understand that "The simple things are also the most extraordinary things, and only the wise can see them.- Paulo Coehlo".


Life is too short too make it only about souring in the skies, don't forget to live it with people you have down on earth. People who add meaning to your being.

Ohh so Flawless

My new fixation is with flawless skin! I was a proud blemish free skin person until when after my teen’s, early twenties gave me embarrassing Acne attacks! And the lovely complexion I took for granted vanished into a lightly spotted face which requires a concealer ALWAYS !

Nothing I do would help or rather I would do nothing long enough for it to help. So this time around after following many skincare blogs I am finally going to try to stick to a routine of skin care that promises to help.

I have already started doing all those little tricks my granny told me (you should too it really works), and now with a little push from the world of cosmetics let’s see how I fare. I am a complete product junkie and every new product I read about I wish to try it as I am convinced it’s the saviour I was looking for! Ahh, but as always an erratic routine on a short run doesn’t help anyone. So months of research and help from a wonderful blogger I am finally confident on one more run at trying to save my skin!

So here is what I am going to try. I have heard so much about the Ole Henriksen 3 little wonders to work like magic.

 It’s a combination of a Truth serum, an invigorating night gel and a sheer transformation cream that helps to clear your skin to perfection! All this with vitamin C and collagen booster and anti aging properties surely seems to be unbelievable ! until you try :)

With this I have also added an anti blemish attack roll on to fight those zits that suddenly appear without leaving a scar and is perfectly good for sensitive skin.

I have already tried these products for a week now and I am so positive!!

My task for myself is to continuously and religiously stick to this routine for two months by resisting temptations of "not today", while at the same time STOP wishing for other products. After two months I will re analyze and give my vote for the famed ole!

The idea of entering a fixed routine is scary, as honestly the size of my will power and my thumb is pretty much the same!so let me test myself and see if I can ever discipline myself ..at least for the love of good skin.

 Tune two months later and let us discuss if this is really as good as they say it is !

My Grandmom told me !

If you can’t eat these veggies, it’s a great idea to load them up on your face!! Trust grand mom techniques to help get that dewy glowing complexion! 

Let’s face it no amount of MAC is going to help if the canvas to paint on is badddd, so it is a good idea to add every bit of natural help to your skin care regime.  I would say add these natural, easy and fast routines to your daily skincare and notice the difference yourself!

To clear acne and blemish 

Tomatoes and Lemon, they lighten and banish blemishes like no other!

1. Add a little bit of tomato pulp with a squeeze of lemon juice and apply over the face (leave on till it dries or even overnight).

Tomato helps to heal the pimple and reduce acne and lemon is a natural bleaching agent which lightens the scars, so combined it helps fight acne and its marks.

2. Alternatively you could rub slices of tomato or lemon on your skin and wait to dry, then wash and pat dry. I love to dip a cotton ball in milk and wipe my face, it tightens immediately and gives a burst of moisture without overdoing it! Try it after the lemon wash for your skin.

3. Next time you get your hands on Mint leaves, make a juice out of it and apply on your blemishes and watch them fade away to oblivion.

 Do this every day and see the difference in 2 weeks 

To clear pigmentation

Potatoes maybe a NO for your diet, but your skin will love it ! 

They are amazing for age spots, skin pigmentation and pimple scars.

1.Grate potatoes and massage into your skin, leave it on for 20 minutes. 

 2.Make some potato juice and pour it into a mesh cloth, refrigerate and use as a cold compress. 

3. Make a mask of potato paste and honey, this is a great mask that heals and the honey in it fill give you instant glow!

4. Get some orange peel powder and mix it with milk, make a paste and leave on for 20 minutes. Wash and repeat once a week. The orange peel helps lighten the darkened skin. 

I know we all don’t really have the time to save our skin but a trick a day would be great, my tip is to work a combination of these tricks to my routine every week, one of them on a daily basis.

No grand mom’s techniques work overnight, so if you see no changes in a few days don’t give up as it will...it is a slow process that works!

PS: Don’t replace this with your usual routine, the key is to add!