The HouseWives Club

The Housewives club is a term that came into my mind when I was looking for comradeship of the conflicting emotions I associate with being “wife of…..” A long chat with a friend recently made me feel a little less important in this world. Like a small fleck in the universe filled with stars who shone brilliantly. And did I blame it on my newly acquired status of a Mrs. from an Ms? Maybe not, but the thought did cross my mind.

Yes I know Marriage is a big word that changes everything and for most of us for the good, but I am not interested in following on the intricacies that Marriage changes because I cant agree more that its better being married than Single!!! But rather I am curious to understand the word Housewife in our world and most importantly why the word horrifies me so much!

Its March 2011 and I am 3 months into a new marriage and just successfully relocated to the other side of the world, and to my credit I deserve to give myself a worthy vacation and enjoy what I came here for in the first place and that is no prices for guessing “To be with my Husband” but yet here I am writing about a term I coined after the famed series of the first wives club!

The word house wife is defined as a married women not employed outside her home while the Merriam dictionary defines it as a married women who is in charge of a her household but to me it spells out more as a supportive wife and a baby maker, nothing wrong in both I quickly add but then why do I pause before someone new I meet ask me what do I do? The answer is always an “an hmmm aaaa a Housewife” with an inexplicable urge to quickly add my credentials and my past employment history! And after I bite down that urge I feel foolish and wonder if something is wrong with me!

Now days I spend more time searching Google either for easy recipes that make me look skillful or tips on other skills J  Despite this fact I somehow catch myself trying to hide that fact that I would like my husband to be proud of my cooking skills. Try to hide that I love being loved more now than other things.

Why so, maybe I look out and watch my peers advance in a direction that I have momentarily stepped out off quiet happily I must add but only to end up feeling like the starlet who dint quiet shine.

So there you go I have laid myself out naked here! So does the above feeling make me less feminine? One look at my cosmetic counter and the pink shoe I recently added reaffirms that I am nothing but completely gurly!

The truth is I am dazed and confused, I enjoy every single moment since my marriage, I love the fact that I can set my own rules, design my house the way I want, mess it up and clean it up, cook whatever I please and do everything my heart wishes for ! Yet I am dreadful that this pure state of bliss could term me a Housewife!

The other day my husband asked me why I used professional triumph as the main yardstick to judge a persons success! I hadn’t given much thought to his statement! Frankly I thought it was pretty dumb of him to suggest anything else could. But now when I sit back and think I am beginning to see where it was going at …( Nitin I know you would be reading this, so you can pat yourself in the back, I finally saw your reason while you were sleeping J)

Just like Love, happiness doesn’t come with conditions and he being the gentleman he is was only letting me find for myself that I am a classic example of the Grass is always Greener on the other side!

Apart from that little lesson I also learnt that peer pressure doesn’t end at high school Funny how conformity can make you ache! In my case I could be equating conformity to my need to show the world or the people who make my world that I am powerful, educated and successful women of today! A great family, great career, never ageing beauty all this and more.. Even super Women would have a hard time matching what conformity asks for! (And I though feminism is only about dealing with Chauvinism J)

Whatever happened to just being you I ask myself? Another one of the adages of the Twenty First century!

 Since this blog is about pursuing happiness I thought it worth sharing and telling all those taking the pledge and jumping off the bandwagon, it is an experience worth a life time and it is only human to want more!

BTW I think I just overcame my complexity in admitting being a Housewife by simply confronting it and sharing it to all in the World Wide Web! And so I guess from now on I am going to use the dreaded words the word Housewife happily and add to that “Yes I can sleep till 11 in the morning and still whip up a meal with no complaints from the recipient” J

Looking forward for comments and experiences of all housewives on your first few months of feeling the way I did! Don’t forget to drop in any tips on any skills I could use!